


Things I'll Never Say

by al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: 5+1 Things, Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, really running the gamut of their relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:41:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22982656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons/pseuds/al_ex_an_d_er_hamiltons
Summary: 5 times Patrick doesn’t say what's on his mind + 1 time he does
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 12
Kudos: 178





	Things I'll Never Say

**Author's Note:**

> Sometimes you wake up at 4 in the morning with an Avril Lavigne song stuck in your head and have to write a fic about it. 
> 
> Title + inspiration from the song Things I'll Never Say

**1\. I know you’re worth it**

Patrick was nervous. Unsettled almost, an unfamiliar energy buzzing under his skin, leaving him feeling unmoored. He wasn’t really used to feeling that way. He was a take-charge, confident guy, fairly sure of himself in most situations. He was a planner, someone who made decisions carefully and only after weighing all the pros and cons. 

But David Rose had walked into Ray’s office a week ago and Patrick felt like someone had dropped an anvil onto his head; he was seeing stars, thrown for a loop, suddenly feeling reckless. He was Wile E. Coyote and David was the Road Runner, and Patrick was desperate to catch him, even if it proved to be detrimental to his health. 

Which is why he found himself standing at the counter of Rose Apothecary, offering to complete time-consuming grant applications on David’s behalf in exchange for becoming his business partner. Miraculously, David had agreed, and Patrick was so relieved that he felt every half-formed thought he’d had about David and the things he wanted from him threatening to bubble out from between his lips. 

**(I think I might have feelings for you, and I don’t know what to do with that. I’ve never felt like this before, towards a guy. I like who I am when I’m around you, David, how you make me feel. And I want to keep being around you, if you’ll let me.)**

Swallowing all of those thoughts down, Patrick found himself glancing at the frame he’d bought, which David had deemed “too corporate,” and latched onto it like a life preserver. 

“And uh, In the interest of us potentially working together I did want to uh, come clean about something.” 

David looks nonplussed, his impressive eyebrows knitted together in concern. Patrick desperately wanted to smooth out the crease between them with his thumb. 

“I, um. I actually picked out that frame.” 

* * *

**2\. What's wrong with my tongue?**

Patrick was pretty sure they were flirting. It _felt_ like flirting, although he couldn’t be certain, since he was pretty inexperienced in the flirting-with-men department. But he couldn’t help but notice the lingering glances, the soft smiles David tossed in his direction on a regular basis. And now, David was talking about Patrick’s mouth as if he had thought about it a lot, and that was...Well. It was certainly _something_. 

“Can I have my juice back, please?” David grimaced at him from across the room, gesturing loosely towards the bottle in Patrick’s hand. 

“No, you have a sloppy mouth.” Patrick bit his tongue against the torrent of inappropriate-to-say-to-your-business-partner thoughts that were threatening to spill out from between his lips and across the work surface, staining and possibly destroying everything in their path. 

**(I want to kiss you, sloppy mouth or not. I** **_always_ ** **want to kiss you. I want to taste the sweetness of your ridiculous coffee order first thing in the morning. I want to feel the sharp tang of the mints you chew every day after lunch. I want to know what red wine tastes like on the tip of your tongue. I want to press my lips against that half-hidden smirk in the corner of your mouth until it blooms into something as bold and beautiful as you are. I want to feel the warmth of my name on your lips.** )

Turning towards the back room, Patrick grinned at the affronted look on David’s face, and it felt like a panicked bird was beating itself against the bars of his rib cage, overwhelmed with thoughts unspoken and talk of clean mouths and sloppy mouths and sharing drinks. 

* * *

**3\. If it ain't coming out, we're not going anywhere**

It was David’s birthday. _Of course_ it was David’s birthday. How had he forgotten? He’d written the date himself a dozen times across incorporation forms and grant applications, had gently informed David that his birthday wasn’t a good choice for the store’s security system PIN. Patrick felt a pang of guilt for forgetting, even as he realized this could finally be his excuse to ask David out. 

“We could, uh. We could go for a birthday dinner?”

David looked at him then, his expression soft even as he tried to rebuff the invitation. 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“No I’d. I’d like to.” Patrick’s voice sounded strange to his own ears, high and eager, and he wondered if David could hear the unspoken desperation and intention behind it. 

( **I want to take you on a date, David. A** **_real_ ** **date. I want you to feel seen and celebrated and cared for, every day but especially on your birthday. I want to sweep you off your feet and take you somewhere as nice as you deserve, but I could never afford any place worthy of getting to celebrate the day David Rose was born, so the Cafe will have to do for now. You’re nothing short of a miracle incarnate and I want you to know how I feel about you. Please,** **_please_ ** **see how I feel so I don’t have to say it out loud.)**

“Sure,” David agreed, and Patrick couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he distractedly soaked their produce with the spray bottle. 

* * *

**4\. I stutter, I stumble**

Patrick was wrecked. Just this morning, he’d stood in front of David and asked him to trust him, and within hours his entire life had blown up in his face. 

It was all his fault. He shouldn’t have kept the truth about Rachel from David, shouldn’t have ignored Rachel every time she tried to reach out. Both of them deserved better than what Patrick had to offer, and although every instinct was telling Patrick not to walk out the door, David asked him for some space, and the fact of the matter was, Patrick would move to the moon if David wanted him to. 

“Actually, umm…” Patrick’s head whipped back towards David, and something that felt a lot like hope sprang up in his chest even as he realized David was only asking him to bring him something to eat. 

Patrick paused in the doorway, desperate to get the last word in, desperate to try again to make things right before it was too late. 

( **Please don’t make me leave. I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with you, David. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. Not Rachel, or any of the other girls I’ve dated. None of them even came close. My feelings for you are so big that my chest aches with it sometimes, like one person isn’t supposed to be able to contain so much happiness. And maybe they’re not. Maybe I’ve reached my quota and this is where it ends.** **_Please_ ** **don’t let this be where it ends.)**

“Okay,” he said instead, emotion clogging his throat as he walked out the door. 

* * *

**5\. Am I squeezing you too tight?**

David wanted Patrick to go out with Ken, for reasons that were still nebulous to him even as David tried to explain. 

“Oh, so you think we’ll be together five years from now?” Patrick aimed for teasing with his tone, but his heart was in his throat and he hoped his face didn’t betray just how sincerely he meant it. 

David deftly sidestepped the question as Patrick mulled over the situation in his head. 

**(I hope you’re right. I hope we’re still together five years from now and 10 years from now and 50 years from now. I don’t really want to be with anyone else. Not now, not ever. Everyone else was ruined for me the moment I met you. But if this is what you want me to do, then I’ll do it. Whatever you want from me, David- all you have to do is ask.)**

Silently, Patrick pulled Ken’s number out of his back pocket and dialed, reluctantly inviting him to dinner at the diner in Elmdale. 

* * *

**+1** **Marry Me Today**

The hike had been a disaster. Everything Patrick had planned had gone wrong, and he was ready to turn around and go home. But David had insisted that they kept going, and hoisted Patrick onto his back in a show of strength that took Patrick by surprise, and continued on. There was something poetic about it, Patrick thought; David had continually carried Patrick, shouldered his burdens when they were too much for him to bear on his own. It wasn’t always graceful, and the two of them stumbled through more than one obstacle, but at least they’d done so together. 

Patrick had wanted this to be different, didn’t want to stumble through this one thing. He’d wanted a perfect proposal for David, a grand gesture worthy of the man who’d given him so much. 

But Patrick knew he had to be realistic. If he kept waiting for the perfect moment, a flawlessly executed plan, it was likely he and David would never get married. And Patrick wasn’t sure how much longer he could stand the idea of not marrying David Rose. 

So when David turned to get the ring box out of the backpack, Patrick swallowed his nerves and lowered himself onto one knee. 

David gasped, a surprised little sob escaping from his mouth when he turned back to see Patrick looking up at him. 

“What’s going on?”

“So I used to come on this hike a lot when I first moved here and I was, uh. I was developing feelings for this guy I had just gotten into business with. And I didn’t know what to do about it, because I didn’t know if that guy had the same feelings, or if I’d ever be able to muster up the courage to let him know how I felt. And now, here he is, the love of my life, standing in front of me. And this just felt like the perfect place to ask you to marry me.” 

David flipped the ring box open, looking down at the gold bands and back up at Patrick. 

“Are you sure?” he asked. 

Patrick didn’t hesitate, didn’t second guess the words that came next, and told David exactly what he was thinking. 

**“Easiest decision of my life.”**


End file.
